Why do I Relate to TV?

For some strange reason that I will never know, I relate more to television shows and the characters within them. Right now, I'm watching House, M.D. and I can't help but relate with House. He seems like such an ass, right? Wrong. He simply shuts down and hides behind his sarcasm and intelligence to hid his pain. He has been dealt a handful. He deals with a disability he never would have chosen and has an addiction he never wished he had. 

I have a disorder called stress conversion disorder. There are no disfiguring symptoms physically. Emotionally, however, I'm black and blue. Essentially, my stressors pile up in my mind and then when my mind has had enough, it turns my stress into a physical symptom. For a lot of people with conversion disorder, it manifests as an illness. Puking, fever, rashes. Mine manifests as seizures and headaches. If I'm overly stressed, you can expect pretty quickly that I am most likely going to have a seizure. I'm not talking a cute little 'oh look a seizure'. I'm talking a full blown, violently shaking, sometimes pissing myself, eyes rolling back in my head kind of seizure. Then I get a headache. The worst headache you will ever experience is no where near as bad as this type of headache. Sometimes, I have muscle spasms. My arms pull into my chest like a velociraptor, my back bends up like I'm being abducted, my legs stretch out like... I don't know they stretch out. 

I never wanted this. Neither did House. 

Wow this is a depressing blog post. Oops. Too bad.